Saturday, November 15, 2008
Funny Error Message
Bad, bad server. No donut for you. Unfortunately, the orkut.com server has acted out in an unexpected way. Hopefully, it will return to its helpful self if you try again in a few minutes. It's likely that the server will behave this way on occasion during the coming months. We apologize for the inconvenience and for our server's lack of consideration for others.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
A man was invited for dinner
A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names." The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."
A bird
A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"
Q & A
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.
Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time.
Q. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A. They don't stop and ask for directions.
Q. What do men and sperm have in common?
A. They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.
Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.
Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.
Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.
Q. What do they call a woman who works as hard as a man?
A. Laz
A. They're married.
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.
Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time.
Q. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A. They don't stop and ask for directions.
Q. What do men and sperm have in common?
A. They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.
Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.
Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.
Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.
Q. What do they call a woman who works as hard as a man?
A. Laz
man jock
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
The Bottom Line
A cowboy rides his horse up to a saloon.
All the patrons gawked as the cowboy kissed his horse on the butt before coming in and asking for a drink.
The bartender serves him and asks, "Mind if I ask why'd ya kiss your horse on the butt?"
The cowboy says, "It's 'cause I got chapped lips."
The bartender asks, "Does manure help them heal?"
Cowboy replies, "No, but it keeps me from licking them."
All the patrons gawked as the cowboy kissed his horse on the butt before coming in and asking for a drink.
The bartender serves him and asks, "Mind if I ask why'd ya kiss your horse on the butt?"
The cowboy says, "It's 'cause I got chapped lips."
The bartender asks, "Does manure help them heal?"
Cowboy replies, "No, but it keeps me from licking them."
Things to do in the bathroom stall...
1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5. Drop a marble and say, "oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"
6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place six to eight feet. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"
11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters.
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"
13. Say. "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"
14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"
15. Say, "Darn, I Knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"
20. When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say "You got any more toilet paper over there, This side's completely out.
2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5. Drop a marble and say, "oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"
6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place six to eight feet. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"
11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters.
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"
13. Say. "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"
14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"
15. Say, "Darn, I Knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"
20. When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say "You got any more toilet paper over there, This side's completely out.
A man with a pegleg, hook hand and...
A man with a pegleg, hook hand and an eyepatch went to apply to be a pirate.
Interviewer: How did you get that pegleg?
Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the first world war.
Interviewer: How did you get that hook?
Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife.
Interviewer: What about your eyepatch?
Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye.
Interviewer: And that put your eye out?
Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hook.
Interviewer: How did you get that pegleg?
Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the first world war.
Interviewer: How did you get that hook?
Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife.
Interviewer: What about your eyepatch?
Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye.
Interviewer: And that put your eye out?
Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hook.
A man with a pegleg, hook hand and...
A man with a pegleg, hook hand and an eyepatch went to apply to be a pirate.
Interviewer: How did you get that pegleg?
Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the first world war.
Interviewer: How did you get that hook?
Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife.
Interviewer: What about your eyepatch?
Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye.
Interviewer: And that put your eye out?
Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hook.
Interviewer: How did you get that pegleg?
Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the first world war.
Interviewer: How did you get that hook?
Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife.
Interviewer: What about your eyepatch?
Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye.
Interviewer: And that put your eye out?
Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hook.
Teacher...........bachey
Teacher:Bachon wada kro kabhi sharab,cigrette nahi piyo ge
Bachey:Nahi piyenge
Teacher:Girls ka peecha nai karoge
Bachey:Nahi karenge
Teacher:Unn par awaaze nai kaso ge
Bachey: nahi kasenge
Teacher:Watan par zindigi qurbaan karo ge(Copyright www.lovelysms.com)
Bachey:Kardenge,aesi zindigi ka karna bhi kya hai..
Bachey:Nahi piyenge
Teacher:Girls ka peecha nai karoge
Bachey:Nahi karenge
Teacher:Unn par awaaze nai kaso ge
Bachey: nahi kasenge
Teacher:Watan par zindigi qurbaan karo ge(Copyright www.lovelysms.com)
Bachey:Kardenge,aesi zindigi ka karna bhi kya hai..
Laloo bada chalak hai (in URDU)
Laloo bada chalak hai
Nau baccho ka bap hai
Laloo bada nirala he
dasva ane wala he...
ye andar ki baat hai
isme Vajpayee ka hat hai..
Nau baccho ka bap hai
Laloo bada nirala he
dasva ane wala he...
ye andar ki baat hai
isme Vajpayee ka hat hai..
एक विवाह ऐसा भी
जब राजश्री ने विवाह बनाई थी तब इंडस्ट्री के लोग ख़ूब हँसे थे. उनका सोचना था कि आज के इंटरनेट दौर में परंपरा वाली फ़िल्में चल ही नहीं सकती.
राजश्री की फ़िल्म विवाह ने अच्छा कारोबार किया था
लेकिन विवाह ने जम कर व्यापार किया. और अब राजश्री की फ़िल्म एक विवाह ऐसा भी....सात नवंबर को रिलीज़ होने जा रही है.
कहा जा रहा है कि ये फ़िल्म राजश्री की ही पुरानी फ़िल्म तपस्या से प्रेरित है. बड़ी बहन की जो भूमिका तपस्या में राखी ने निभाई थी, इसमें वही भूमिका ईशा कोप्पिकर कर रही हैं.
जी हाँ, ईशा जो अपनी सेक्सी इमेज के लिए मशहूर हैं, इस फ़िल्म में घरेलू रोल में नज़र आएँगी.
राजश्री की फ़िल्म विवाह ने अच्छा कारोबार किया था
लेकिन विवाह ने जम कर व्यापार किया. और अब राजश्री की फ़िल्म एक विवाह ऐसा भी....सात नवंबर को रिलीज़ होने जा रही है.
कहा जा रहा है कि ये फ़िल्म राजश्री की ही पुरानी फ़िल्म तपस्या से प्रेरित है. बड़ी बहन की जो भूमिका तपस्या में राखी ने निभाई थी, इसमें वही भूमिका ईशा कोप्पिकर कर रही हैं.
जी हाँ, ईशा जो अपनी सेक्सी इमेज के लिए मशहूर हैं, इस फ़िल्म में घरेलू रोल में नज़र आएँगी.
करोड़ों की कटरीना कैफ़
कटरीना कैफ़ आजकल टॉप हीरोइनों में गिनी जाती हैं. पिछले वर्षों में उनकी कई फ़िल्में इतनी चलीं हैं कि उन्हें अब टॉप हीरोइनों में गिना जा रहा है.
हाल ही में कटरीना ने यूटीवी के साथ दो फ़िल्मों के अनुबंध पर हस्ताक्षर किया है.
हालाँकि यूटीवी और कटरीना ये नहीं बता रहे हैं कि इन दोनों फ़िल्मों के लिए कटरीना को कितने पैसे मिले हैं.
लेकिन फ़िल्म इंडस्ट्री में ये ख़बर ज़ोरों पर है कि दोनों फ़िल्मों के लिए कटरीना को पाँच करोड़ रुपए मिले हैं.
हाल ही में कटरीना ने यूटीवी के साथ दो फ़िल्मों के अनुबंध पर हस्ताक्षर किया है.
हालाँकि यूटीवी और कटरीना ये नहीं बता रहे हैं कि इन दोनों फ़िल्मों के लिए कटरीना को कितने पैसे मिले हैं.
लेकिन फ़िल्म इंडस्ट्री में ये ख़बर ज़ोरों पर है कि दोनों फ़िल्मों के लिए कटरीना को पाँच करोड़ रुपए मिले हैं.
ऐश-अभिषेक का अंदाज़
फ़िल्म में मुख्य भूमिका निभा रहे हैं अभिषेक बच्चन और ऐश्वर्या राय बच्चन. सुनने में आ रहा है कि अभिषेक ने इस फ़िल्म में अपने किरदार के लिए 14 किलो वजन भी घटाया है.
उन्होंने ऐसा मणिरत्नम की सलाह से किया है. ये भी पता चला है कि फ़िल्म में ऐश्वर्या को बिल्कुल अलग अंदाज़ में पेश किया गया है.
मणिरत्नम नहीं चाहते कि फ़िल्म की रिलीज़ से पहले ऐश का ये लुक मीडिया को पता चले. इसीलिए उन्होंने सेट पर ऐश की सुरक्षा भी काफ़ी कड़ी कर दी है.
रावण में एक अहम किरदार निभा रहे भोजपुरी फिल्मों के मशहूर कलाकार रवि किशन ने बीबीसी को बताया कि केरल में शूटिंग का काम काफ़ी तेज़ी से चल रहा है और चार-पाँच महीने में इसे पूरा कर लिया जाएगा.
उन्होंने ऐसा मणिरत्नम की सलाह से किया है. ये भी पता चला है कि फ़िल्म में ऐश्वर्या को बिल्कुल अलग अंदाज़ में पेश किया गया है.
मणिरत्नम नहीं चाहते कि फ़िल्म की रिलीज़ से पहले ऐश का ये लुक मीडिया को पता चले. इसीलिए उन्होंने सेट पर ऐश की सुरक्षा भी काफ़ी कड़ी कर दी है.
रावण में एक अहम किरदार निभा रहे भोजपुरी फिल्मों के मशहूर कलाकार रवि किशन ने बीबीसी को बताया कि केरल में शूटिंग का काम काफ़ी तेज़ी से चल रहा है और चार-पाँच महीने में इसे पूरा कर लिया जाएगा.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
PM Dahal holds bilateral talks with Indian PM
Prime Minister Pushpa Kamal Dahal 'Prachanda' held bilateral talks with his Indian counterpart Dr. Manmohan Singh, at the latter's official residence in New Delhi, India, on Wednesday evening.
According to reports, the two leaders talked about the ongoing peace process in Nepal and the process of constitution making. The Indian PM is said to have stressed on politics of understanding. The Nepali PM also expressed his commitment to complete constitution writing within stipulated time, reports add.
The issues of border problem and Kosi flood also figured in the talks.
Earlier, PM Dahal had reached the Indian capital to attend the second summit of BIMSTEC (Bay of Bengal Initiative for Multi Sectoral Technical and Economic Cooperation).
India's minister of state for Industry and Commerce, Ashwini Kumar, received the Prime Minister at the Indira Gandhi International Airport in New Delhi where he landed at around 12:15 pm, reports said.
Briefly speaking to media persons at the Delhi airport, PM Dahal said he expected his visit to be fruitful in garnering Indian support for the peace process, economic development and constitution-making process.
He is set to address the summit on Thursday and will meet with the regional leaders on the sidelines of the summit.
PM Dahal will return home on Friday. nepalnews.com sd Nov 12 08
According to reports, the two leaders talked about the ongoing peace process in Nepal and the process of constitution making. The Indian PM is said to have stressed on politics of understanding. The Nepali PM also expressed his commitment to complete constitution writing within stipulated time, reports add.
The issues of border problem and Kosi flood also figured in the talks.
Earlier, PM Dahal had reached the Indian capital to attend the second summit of BIMSTEC (Bay of Bengal Initiative for Multi Sectoral Technical and Economic Cooperation).
India's minister of state for Industry and Commerce, Ashwini Kumar, received the Prime Minister at the Indira Gandhi International Airport in New Delhi where he landed at around 12:15 pm, reports said.
Briefly speaking to media persons at the Delhi airport, PM Dahal said he expected his visit to be fruitful in garnering Indian support for the peace process, economic development and constitution-making process.
He is set to address the summit on Thursday and will meet with the regional leaders on the sidelines of the summit.
PM Dahal will return home on Friday. nepalnews.com sd Nov 12 08
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